At the
age of 15, I believed I was going to die. After recently learning about breast
cancer and how to conduct a self-exam at-home, I thought that I’d give it a
try. It was a strange sensation to
discover a lump that wasn’t there some months before. From what I had learned,
women could develop fatty tumors, but when the lump didn’t seem to move around
freely, I knew that something was wrong.
At the
doctor’s office, it took about 15 minutes before she took my father aside and
told him that I needed to be scheduled for immediate surgery. There was no
discussion of conducting an x-ray, ultrasound, or even biopsy, just surgery. The
chances of the tumor being cancerous were pretty high as the disease runs in my
family. And even though they told me not to worry, and that everything would be
ok, the look on my dad’s face that day told me everything they were afraid to
say and all that I needed to know.
The
surgery was schedule for roughly two weeks later, and every day up until then,
I cried. Each night I would tell my dad that I loved him, and made him promise
to take care of our Alaskan Malamute, Sasha, and not to feed her too many
turkey legs. I told him of all the things I wouldn’t live to see and do, as
well as my list of regrets. Together we would say the Lord’s Prayer, Psalm 23,
and he would sing to me until I feel asleep.
My dad would wait awhile by my bedside, and after leaving my room and
heading to his own, he would often feel defeated.
I am
now 29 years old, and living a strong and healthy life. The tumor had been
benign, but from the day we found out, our lifestyle changed. All of the foods
with hormones were immediately thrown out, and were replaced by organic. Any
later medications that I consumed would have to be entirely without or with the
lowest possible levels of estrogen. These were just the tangible effects of my
ordeal, but the psychological ones that I wasn’t immediately aware of would
have a far longer lasting impression.
Up
until that time I had been an avid soccer player and a member of a private club
team in Westchester. But after the surgery I begin to lose interest. I would
make up excuses as to why I didn’t want to go, and eventually I gave up and quit.
Out of genuine concern, my dad took me to see a psychologist, a practice that I
would unknowingly continue over the next 10 years. Initially it felt odd to sit
and talk to a stranger about my feelings and deepest fears, but over time I
realized that it was comforting to have a non-family member listen to me,
unbiased and nonjudgmental, and try to help me confront my suppressed anxieties
that were manifesting in different ways and undoubtedly affecting the quality
of my life. Looking back on it now, during those sessions I was always holding
onto something, like a pen or a pillow, and doing so gave me the sense of not
being entirely exposed. And each time after those sessions ended, when I came
home, just being with my dog or cat would reassuringly give me a sense of unrequited peace. If I had known then that there were ways to
incorporate animals into my counseling sessions, I know I would have tried it, but
it was only recently that I discovered Equine Facilitated Experiential Learning (EFEL).
Inspired
by the teachings of Linda Kohanov and after having come to a cross-road in her life,
Ines Kaiser took out a map and randomly picked Luxembourg as the next place to
move to in hopes of starting her own business. Ines had tried EFEL after
experiencing some difficulties in her life, and understanding the benefits,
wanted to offer the same opportunity to others in search of finding themselves
and something more out of life.
Initially
EFEL began with the idea of connecting humans and horses in different ways. For
centuries humans have had a dependent relationship with horses and over time
that relationship has frequently been one sided. Horses were used as a means
for transportation, during war, exploration, survival of everyday life, and
humans rarely asked what was the desire and needs of the horse. Horses were
critical to human survival and evolution, and the thought to ask the horse if
they were willing to assist was never taken into consideration, and instead
often times they were brutally forced to oblige. In the later years horses were
used by the super-rich for prestige and sport, which greatly served the
interest of their owners but more times than not, neglected the interests of
the horse. In recent decades, more ethical training methods and horsemanship have
developed, but the idea remained that the human taught the horse and not the
other way around. However, nowadays, we have arrived at an era where this way
of thinking deserves to be questioned, and the intelligence of horses should be
deeply considered.
Ines
began establishing her clientele in 2012, but launched her business, Grace.lu,
full time in 2013. She has six horses – Mylie (21 yrs.), Sue (8 yrs.), Grace (7
yrs.), Centu (6 yrs.), Sky (4 yrs.), Bella (3 yrs.) – five of whom she trains
with. The clients who come to her are battling with a range of issues such as
burnout, depression, anorexia, anger, fear, mid-life crisis, lifestyle
transition, calamitous relationships, divorce, in-between jobs, death of family
members, and illness. And whatever the case may be they are looking for a
change as their current state no longer feels sustainable and is leading them
down a path of unhappiness. In all cases, Ines’s clients have managed to suppress
their emotions which have resulted from these life altering events, and have
come to her to try and rebuild the contact to themselves. And by the time they
call to schedule a session, they have already read the information on her
website.
“I Invite
them to the stables and introduce my approach. I make them experience. When you
learn from experience, you remember it differently than something you heard or
talked about. When the experience happens on all these nonverbal levels – body,
emotion, mind, energy, and soul -- you can feel it.”
Ines’s
work involves the horse to teach people how to find themselves and reconnect.
“You cannot
develop personally if you can’t feel yourself or perceive what is going on
within you. Through the work that I am doing, the question I like to ask is, “What
do the horses have to teach us?” Any interaction that we have with them they
are teaching us something. I don’t know if they have a direct intention to do
so, it could vary from horse to horse, but they communicate very clearly that which
we have unlearned.”
As
Ines perceives it, in today’s world the modern human mind is too focused on
logical thinking. As a result people have lost contact with their emotions and
no longer “feel their bodies”. Ines explained that horses are prey animals, and
it is in their nature to pick up even the slightest change in their
environment. They can feel your heart rate, whether you have high blood
pressure, your suppressed emotions, how well you are grounded, and if you are
present in the here and now or not. They can feel if you are congruent with
your heart.
The
Institute of Heart Math has conducted research in the field of heart
intelligence. They have been able to determine that there is scientific
evidence proving that humans have the same cells in our heart that are also in
our brain, and that when we make decisions based on our heart or our gut
feelings, that this is more than just a metaphor.
For
people who have a strong mental focus it is important to have them try and
connect with their body. The body talks to us through these sensations, and as
prey animals, horses are able to perceive all of these things and mirror them
back to us through their behavior. In order to identify and acknowledge these sensations,
one of the first exercises that Ines does with her clients is called a Body Scan. As she explains:
“A Body
Scan is a small exercise where you focus your attention inward. You go through all
of your body parts and look for any sensations that may stand out. That could
be pressure, churning in stomach, tension, posture, a realization that your
shoulders are hunched. All of these simple sensations carry information. I ask
them 'Which is the sensation that intrigues you the most?', and they always unconsciously choose the right one.”
Ines
explained that an example of this is when a person is standing and looking at
the horse and says “I have a nervous feeling in my stomach”. They are to allow
this feeling to be and spend a moment observing it. When this is happening, Ines
is standing with them and encouraging them. Then she asks them what the message
behind this sensation could be and they reply, “I’m afraid because I’ve never
been close to a big animal, I’m afraid of being run over by the horse, and I’m afraid
the horse will step on my feet”.
Ines
undertook a 4 year training in Body Orientated Psychotherapy in Switzerland at
the Core Energetics Institute and a 1 year EponaQuest training program in the
USA designed by Linda Kohanov in order to be able to properly interpret and
understand her client’s projected sensations and realizations. When the client
expressed her fear that the horse would step on her feet, this manifested into
the realization that the client was afraid of upsetting her family and
colleagues, and as a result was over eager to please everyone. She had been
unable to communicate her own needs and boundaries to those around her which
had resulted in suppressing her emotions and facing years of self-conflict and
turmoil.
Ines
said that during the first visit she asks her clients a series of questions:
Why are you here? What do you want to achieve? What is bothering you in your
life? What do you want to get out of these sessions? She continued:
“It is
very important that they verbalize their desires because that is how I make my
orientation. This is mostly something
inside them, and something that helps them connect to their potential and their
power. People strive to find out what they want in life and what will lead them
there. When we encounter difficult situations we typically want them to go away
and resolve themselves, but those are the greatest gifts to help us find out
more deeply who we really are.”
Mostly
Ines works with adults, however she also works with children using a slightly
different approach. For example, some of the children she sees are introverted
and lack self-confidence. In these situations, she designs activities that they
can do to work on improving these tendencies, activities where they can make
decisions and take action. She lets the children decide what obstacles they
want to go through with the horse and what they want the horse to do for them.
“I
work to train their assertiveness, and this can be done on or off the horse. In
order for them to motivate the horse to do something with them or for them,
they have to bring the right energy level to achieve this”.
Some
kids pick up on the idea fairly quickly and respond positively to the training
almost immediately. For example, she has had cases where kids demonstrate their
assertiveness by creating their own fantasy journey as their activity for the
session. Ines added:
“We go
on a fantasy journey. The horses become unicorns, while I and my partner play
the fairies. We encounter obstacles such as how to get by the crocodiles, or
past the quicksand. Sometimes we come to a river without a bridge and have to
figure out what to do and how to get across. This brings out their creativity.”
Other
cases are not as straightforward, she explained, and require another approach:
“I
went with one girl for a walk in the woods with the horses and I asked her, 'What
do you want from life if you could have anything you wanted?'. It took her a
while to start talking, but when she did there were a lot of things coming out
that were very useful for her to know eluding to some of the challenges she was
facing.”
In all
of Ines’s cases with children, the parents were very open. If her therapeutic
approach didn’t fit, they noticed it in the first meeting. Right from the
beginning, Ines makes it very clear to the parents how she works.
“This
therapeutic setting cannot be a situation where 'there is something wrong with
my child and I need to fix it'. Most children who come for Equitherapy benefit
greatly from it. I rely totally on the fact that I can give them an experience.
They may not always be able to use this in their lives right now but it may
have an influence that is immeasurable.”
But
what affect does all of this have on the horse? People are seemingly improving
as a result of their interaction with the animal, but taking into consideration
the true essence of EFEL, how does the horse feel about interacting with the
people?
Ines
explained that horses can handle emotions well, particularly negative emotions
as long as we are willing to show them. By admitting to ourselves and to the
horse that we are afraid, the horse is more likely to relax. If we suppress our
fears, and then try to mount the horse without feeling comfortable, the horse
doesn’t know what is going on, the situation doesn’t feel right to them, and they
start reacting, mirroring our emotions. For instance, they get uncomfortable, start
to move around, become fearful and stressed. Some may start to panic, some just
ignore you and turn and walk away, or maybe they become aggressive which is
demonstrated when they pin back their ears and swish their tail. These are all
clear signs that they don’t want the person too near. Ines added:
“Horses
like to be congruent, and want us to admit to ourselves what is going on inside
of us. Some people will tell you, 'don’t show your fear to the horse', but they
don’t realize that the horse already senses what we are feeling long before we do.
"Many people approach the horse thinking 'I want the horse to love me'. Animals
think so differently because they simply love. They do not have this type of
conditioning. If the person doesn’t realize that this is a pattern and start to
open up to a certain extent, then this can be very frustrating for the horse. It is OK for the person to want the horse to love them. They are projecting their inner conflict onto the horse at that moment and we just want to make this conscious and explore where this need of 'wanting to be loved' comes from.”
Ines
says that it is not the severity of the trauma, but more how the person deals
with it. If the person has made their peace with their issues, can express
their feelings and self-reflect, then the horses are quite happy to be around
them versus a person that is stuck in their ways and remains stuck. Horses
communicate strongly through non-verbal channels -- body, energy, emotions – and this
communication happens in a very subtle way. It is so subtle that for us humans
we have to be taught how to observe.
Many
people come to Ines because they've heard about Equine Assisted Therapy, are drawn to horses,
feel more comfortable being outside, and want to try this less common approach.
Ines shys away from using the word “treated” as it implies that something
needs to be fixed or go away. Her approach is not to solve the problem -- the old paradigm or our
modern world – but to teach others that there is nothing wrong, only an
organism saying to us that an issue needs to be brought to our attention. Humans
have many beliefs that are created through social conditioning. We carry a lot of
emotional baggage and suppressed emotions, which in turn impacts the horse, and
can be quite a lot for them emotionally. The therapist continued:
“Some
of the horses can carry your burden with them, other horses are eager to help.
If the horse cannot help, they can feel bad. If we spend time in their energy
field they have a regulating effect on us, for example, people who have had a
bad day at the office and went to see their horse, and afterwards feel so
relaxed.”
Since
2014, Ines has been co-leading the Equi Motion Institute in Luxembourg, a continuing
training program for professions who want to involve horses in their teaching
and become trained equitherapists. These are people who hold a degree in social work, pedagogy, psychology or are medical professionals, and already have extensive experience with horses. As a fundamental
key to the program’s success, Ines believes that you can only create a safe
environment if you really know the horse species.
In
addition to equitherapist training, Ines provides therapy for horses who
encounter behavior problems such as rearing up, biting, kicking, bolting,
or difficulties with trailer loading, just to name a few. Ines evaluates the horse
to see what they are doing and under which circumstances. She then strives to
renegotiate these behaviors, works to rebuild or build the trust and set
boundaries. She also observes the owner to see what the relationship between them
and their horse is like. She asks what the owners’ expectations are, and then
delves into whether or not those expectations are justified and realistic. Her
main focus is what the horse wants and how they feel.
“All
behavioral issues or trauma that the horse has was created by humans. There is
a lot of work required with the human. The animal put us into a position where
we need to grow into more conscience beings. You cannot approach an animal with
pure human logic.”
Some
of Ines’s clients have been with her since 2012. Some come on a regular basis
for a long period of time, others for 6 months every other week, and some give
her a call from time to time. She said she leaves the level of frequency entirely up to
them and does not try to influence them:
“Every
person needs to have a high motivation to work on their personal issues and
when they come for a session it’s because that’s what they want, not what I suggested.
“Every
encounter has its own purpose, and who am I to judge, or say something about a
person. I can only be there to accompany them in whatever they are
experiencing.”
After
a session Ines emotions vary. She reflects quite a lot, considers the outcome, and
replays the events and conversations, the decisions that were made and her
input.
“In
general I feel very satisfied and enormously grateful to the horses because
they often bring things to the surface that I couldn’t have and never would
have thought of.”
Ines’s
work has changed her life entirely. The way she relates to humans and animals
has forever changed, and the horses have become her biggest source of
inspiration. Last year Ines invited Anna Evans to do a seminar with her. Anna founded the approach
“Communication Intuitive” and has the unique ability to non-verbally communicate
with horses. Anna had the chance to communicate with Ines’s horse, Grace, and
told Ines that this is what Grace said,
“When
I work with Ines, I, Grace, am the professional and Ines is the assistant. And
this interaction between myself and humans, this is how I express love.”
